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Life.

I have an everyday life. When I stop blogging, when I stop searching for the Aleph, I go back and I become normal. But this is not real. This is not what I really am. I am not a pencil pusher, a phone monkey, caged in a cubicle. But it pays the bills.

I get distracted at work. It's hard to pretend to be a normal person, not when I know that this normality can be stripped away in a second, that the world is so much stranger than everyone around me. How can I sit down for lunch and discuss the weather, the latest episode of The X-Factor, or whatever personal problems seem to plague my coworkers this week? Sometimes I want to stand up and start running and never stop, not until I've found the vessel and the POE and the Aleph, not until I've found Heaven itself.

But I know. I have to pay for everything. My quest isn't free. There is no such thing as a free lunch. No lucky breaks, no fairness in life.

At least I am not haunted by Him. Not by Him or the Others. I've yet to mention the Others, have I? Well, I will. I am glad that they have not interrupted my normal life -- though sometimes I wonder what would happen if the Slender Man were to walk into my office one day. What would my coworkers do then? Scream and flail about probably.

Ah well. Back to the life.