I need to find the right vessel. The right vessel can see things that will lead to the Aleph. The right vessel can lead me to the point of entrance, the place of enlightenment, the purity of experience. The vessel leads towards the POE. "Once upon a midnight dreary..."
No, concentrate. In the Borges story it was a "small iridescent sphere of almost unbearable brilliance." But it won't always look like that. Why would it? It could look like anything. You can view all of creation through it. I'll be able to sleep again once I find it.
But first I need the vessel. The vessel to the POE to the Aleph. Does this sound like obsession? It probably is. But what better thing to be obsessed about.
Obsessed about the entirety of creation. Obsessed about all things.